Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What I've noticed

Today it hit me that my feelings towards being pregnant have changed a lot. For the first few months of pregnancy, as my body changed I felt very self conscious of how I looked and my self-esteem suffered as a result. I would look at the numbers on the scale and feel discouraged with what I saw. There would be moments each day when I wanted to just stop eating all together and run until my legs gave out. Obviously I fought that feeling and tried to stay as healthy as I could. Then, about two weeks ago I felt my baby kick for the first time. I've felt him/her every day since then. Looking back I think that's when my feelings started to transform. Every time I feel that little nudge in my belly, my heart melts. Nothing in that moment matters except my little family.  Feeling that nudge is my reassurance that there is another life in my hands and that it is real. I am noticing my desires to serve and love others is increasing more than it ever has. I feel more love towards my husband and every time he comes home from work I just want to hug him and never let go. My weight it going to increase and I might puff up a bit, but before too long I'll be back to where I started. I am finally content with knowing my body will continue to change and in the meantime I feel a whole new kind of beautiful.


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