Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What I've noticed

Today it hit me that my feelings towards being pregnant have changed a lot. For the first few months of pregnancy, as my body changed I felt very self conscious of how I looked and my self-esteem suffered as a result. I would look at the numbers on the scale and feel discouraged with what I saw. There would be moments each day when I wanted to just stop eating all together and run until my legs gave out. Obviously I fought that feeling and tried to stay as healthy as I could. Then, about two weeks ago I felt my baby kick for the first time. I've felt him/her every day since then. Looking back I think that's when my feelings started to transform. Every time I feel that little nudge in my belly, my heart melts. Nothing in that moment matters except my little family.  Feeling that nudge is my reassurance that there is another life in my hands and that it is real. I am noticing my desires to serve and love others is increasing more than it ever has. I feel more love towards my husband and every time he comes home from work I just want to hug him and never let go. My weight it going to increase and I might puff up a bit, but before too long I'll be back to where I started. I am finally content with knowing my body will continue to change and in the meantime I feel a whole new kind of beautiful.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Bump update: Week 18

                                ^^ I'm pretty excited about being visibly pregnant now


What Fruit are you? Sweet potato
Due date:  December 26, 2014
How far along: 18 weeks!
Next appointment:  July 28th
Gender:  I will know very soon!
Total weight gain/loss:  I've gained a total of about 15 pounds
Exercise:  I've been jog/walking and doing squats
Stretch marks: SUCK
Swelling: Not really
Maternity clothes:  I need some, but I'm too broke to buy any. :P
Belly button:  Same as last week. :)
Sleep: I like sleeping
Food cravings:  Lemons, chicken... subway!
Symptoms:  I'm sooooo emotionallllll... and also very hungry.
Movement:  Every day!
Labor signs: Nope
What I miss: Nothing specific right now
What I'm loving:  Feeling baby move and my belly I'm finally showing
What I'm looking forward to:  Knowing the gender!! Shopping and getting his/her room ready
Best moment this week: Feeling baby kick :)  also, I ate an entire footlong sub for the first time ever. I was proud and embarrassed all at the same time.
Words of wisdom: Don't get pregnant.  hehe jk

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Bump update: 17 Weeks

What Fruit are you? An onion :)
Due date:  December 26, 2014
How far along:  17 weeks 
Next appointment:  July 28
Total weight gain/loss:  I've been avoiding weighing myself.. haha
Exercise:  I've been trying to run and do some other exercises
Stretch marks: Boobs
Swelling:  Nope
Maternity clothes:  I'm looking into getting some, especially pants. My belly is growing fast and my pants are starting to be uncomfortable. 
Belly button:  About 1/4 of my belly button is popping out. I don't know why it is doing that this early, but it is!
Sleep: I have my good nights and bad nights
Food cravings:  Still sour things. Lemons, lemons, and more lemons! And limes
Symptoms:  I am an emotional wreck. I feel sorry for my poor husband who has to deal with me. Also I have been having TONS of round ligament pains, so that's no fun. 
Movement:  Waiting impatiently to feel some movement. Although there have been a couple of times I thought I might have felt him/her swishing around in there
Labor signs: Nope
What I miss:  I hate to say it, but I miss feeling good about myself all the time. Pregnancy has done a lot to my self-esteem. Although working out is helping me feel better.
What I'm loving:  Knowing I get a baby for Christmas! Watching my belly grow.
What I'm looking forward to:  Having a baby bump that doesn't just look like a beer gut.
Best moment this week: Realizing my belly is getting more noticeable. Corde and I also looked at some strollers and cribs this week. That got me pretty excited...and stressed out at the same time, but it was fun!

Monday, July 14, 2014

What pregnancy really means

I always knew the day would come that I'd be rocking that adorable baby bump. While I didn't know it would be much sooner than I had intended, I also didn't know the reality of it. But honestly nobody does until they experience it. Basically every girl goes through pregnancy at least once in her life and I know that for many women their pregnancy is much more difficult than mine. That's why I really can't do much complaining or feel sorry for myself, because I'm just another pregnant girl.

It's funny that somehow I thought pregnancy would be fun, when the truth is that I wake up each morning wanting to hurl and from week 6 until about week 10 or 11, I was sick all day long. I also have stretch marks on my boobs because they've grown so much. It is the worst thing ever. I always assumed that somehow I'd be the exception to all of these nasty side effects. I can't even imagine what my stomach and boobs will look like after 9 months, or after having the 5 children that I hope to have.

But the worst part of all for me personally, is accepting that no matter how well I eat, my waste line is going to expand and I am going to gain weight. I am going to puff up like a marshmallow from all of the water weight and develop cankles. Plus I'm practically starving all the time, so I want to eat everything. There is more, but I think I've said enough.

I'm assuming that somehow this is Heavenly Father's way of preparing me to be a mom. I am learning that there are many more important things to think about than my appearance and there is so much I need to be doing, so I can't spend time dwelling on how crappy I feel. I'm accepting that I need to stop thinking about ME so much and start thinking about other people, like my husband and my sweet little baby.

This will all be worth it in about 4 1/2 months and I know I will look back and be glad I struggled the way I did.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Bump update: 16 Weeks


What Fruit are you? An avocado!
Due date:  December 26, 2014
How far along:  16 weeks! Woop Woop
Next appointment:  July 28... and from there I'll make an appointment to find out the gender!
Gender:  Just about a month until I find out
Total weight gain/loss:  12 pounds :/  Most of it was gained when I was sick from week 6-10, but since then I have only gained about 3 pounds.
Exercise:  well, I try
Stretch marks: a little on my boobies :(
Swelling:  No swelling yet
Maternity clothes:  Don't NEED them yet, but I have one maternity shirt.
Belly button:  About 1/4 of my belly button is popping out. I don't know why it is doing that this early, but it is!
Sleep: FINALLY can sleep through the night with only having to get up to go to the bathroom  once at the most. I do have nights on occasion when it takes me over an hour to fall asleep.
Food cravings:  LEMONS!! Anything sour.
Symptoms:  I have become the most emotional person ever. I've got more acne, and my head hurts on a regular basis. 
Movement:  I can't wait until I can feel him move!
Labor signs: Nope
What I miss:  Having a flat tummy, enjoying food.. 
What I'm loving:  Knowing I get a baby for Christmas! Deciding on baby names. Having an excuse to eat more ;P hehe 
What I'm looking forward to:  Having a baby bump that doesn't just look like a beer gut.
Best moment this week: Nothing too crazy happened this week for me. Corde and I finally decided on a boy AND a girl name now, so I can stop obsessing about what we will name our baby.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Bump update: 15 weeks

What Fruit are you? An apple! 
Due date:  December 26, 2014
How far along:  15 weeks!!!!
Next appointment:  July 28
Gender:  I won't know for more than a month
Total weight gain/loss:  I gained 10 pounds my first 10 weeks because I would eat thinking it would make me feel less sick. (It didn't make me feel less sick!) But within this last month I only gained 2 pounds, so I am pretty happy about that. I'm going to keep a close eye on my weight and make sure I don't gain any more than is possibly necessary.
Exercise:  Yes! Running, walking, squats. Woot woot!
Stretch marks: a little on my boobies :(
Swelling:  No swelling yet
Maternity clothes:  Don't NEED them yet, but I have one maternity shirt.
Belly button:  About 1/4 of my belly button is popping out. I don't know why it is doing that this early, but it is!
Sleep: FINALLY can sleep through the night with only having to get up to go to the bathroom  once at the most. I have been sleeping pretty well.
Food cravings:  Still lemons and fresh fruit.
Symptoms:  I have become the most emotional person ever. I've got more acne, and my head hurts on a regular basis. 
Movement:  I can't wait until I can feel him move!
Labor signs: Nope
What I miss:  Having a flat tummy, enjoying food..
What I'm loving:  Knowing I get a baby for Christmas! Deciding on baby names.
What I'm looking forward to:  Having a baby bump that doesn't just look like a beer gut.
Best moment this week: I got to hear my babies heartbeat. It was 148 beats per minute. I can't explain how reassuring it is to hear my baby is doing well each time I go to the doctor. I always convince myself there's something wrong.