Cleansing and Oxotropia

I haven't slept for two nights. Russell has been keeping me up. The poor little guy hunches over and makes the saddest whimpering sound I've ever heard. Last night when I first put him to bed, 20 minutes later he woke up crying. After I settled him down and put him back in his crib, the same thing happened. This went on for a couple hours and when he finally stayed sleeping it only lasted about 4 hours until he woke up again. Then I fed him and put him back to bed and he woke up in 1 hour intervals for the next 3 hours, until it was time for me to start my day.

Needless to say, my mind feels like pudding today.

On top of all of that, he's been crying a lot. Anyone that knows my little boy, knows that he is extremely calm and rarely cries. So this is all very new to me.

Last night as I was pondering what might be causing Russell this discomfort and then it hit me. I realized that my cleanse was affecting him much more than it was affecting me. I knew starting my cleanse that it might be somewhat hard for Russ, but apparently it was much harder for him then I anticipated. I feel so horrible for putting him through misery.

There is a chance that my eating habits aren't what has been hurting Russell's belly, but I don't think it's a coincidence that he suddenly became a difficult child just as I drastically changed what I was putting into my body.

I am sad to say that I have to take a couple steps backwards and make sure that I make changes slowly, so that I don't cause my little Russ anymore pain.

The good news is that I did a solid 3-day cleanse and I'm proud! By the end of day 3, I was going a little bit crazy for sugar and spend a large portion of the day dreaming about Coldstone ice-cream. However, I did love the way that my body felt. I wish I could say I felt great right now, but the lack of sleep is taking a toll on me.

Lets all just take a moment to admire my beautiful child.

Today we finally learned what is going on with Russell's eyes. He hadn't made any eye contact until just a couple weeks ago. When he did finally start making eye contact, he was looking cross-eyed and his eyes would flicker around like they didn't know where to look. As a mom, it was so stressful for me. Of course I imagined all of the worst possible scenarios. What kept me optimistic was that in every other way he was progressing normally. He was also responsive to my smiles, so I did know that he could see.

This afternoon at the eye doctor they told me that he has a lazy eye. It might go away, it might not. We are waiting it out for the next few months. I'm so thankful that it's an issue that is fixable and nothing I need to be worried about.